Not so with it.....

I've said many times that my brain has not been the same since pregnancy and child birth. I feel like I just can't get things together, like I am always a step behind. Case in point. (Where does "case in point" come from anyway? It sounds so funny if you say it a couple times.) Case in point: yesterday I took Gavin and Sasha for our daily walk to get the mail. When I opened our mailbox, there was a key chain marked with an "E" with a big key attached to it. I thought, "hmmm...I guess the mailman accidentally left his key in our box". I left it there figuring he would get it when he returned. Today when I got the mail, he was just getting ready to leave. I approached him and said, "Hi Mr. Mailman" (which sounded SO stupid, but I am so used to saying WORDS all day long to Gavin in an effort to identify things). Anyway, I asked him if he found the key he mistakingly left in our mailbox yesterday. He didn't respond at first and instead looked confused. I explained that there was a key left in my mailbox and that I just left it there in hopes that he would find it today. He asked, "what does it look like?" I went to the mailbox, got out the key and smugly handed it to him. He started laughing. Like really laughing. Now I was confused. He stopped laughing and said that the key in the mailbox meant that I was sent a package and I needed the key to access it. All of a sudden it all made sense. Everyday I walk to get the mail I notice several larger mailboxes that people sometimes open. The letter "E" on my key chain corresponded with the big mailbox marked "E". I felt so stupid as I realized all this. I opened up the mailbox and had THREE packages. How exciting!! When you live far away from friends and family you LOVE getting mail. One package was sent from Courtney, another from my parents, and one from Buy.com. Courtney sent us a box filled with Christmas gifts from my relatives. My mom and dad sent some requested items, including the flashlight that dad stole from us at Christmas! And, the book I ordered John arrived!

Untitled

Okay, seriously, we cannot get over this flu virus thingy. Apparently this sickness lasts for weeks and there is nothing we can do it about. Of course we are trying to rest, drink fluids, and eat well, but enough is enough. I've talked to people all over the country who are battling this thing.

Went to Walgreens yesterday to pick up pictures I had ordered online. The girl could not find my pictures even though they were marked as "printed" in the computer. She offered to print them again and give me a 50% discount. Sounded good to me, so Gav and I did some shopping and minutes later the pics were reprinted. While driving home I wondered what would happen with my pictures if they were found. I realized that I had printed more than 100 pictures and it kind of freaked me out to think that they could end up in the wrong hands. I hate to be paranoid, but I thought about the pictures of Gavin taking a bath. I've encountered so many sickos in the world of mental health that I know they are out there! Hopefully some lazy employee just messed up and never printed the pictures so there was only one copy all along.

Speaking of pictures, I got out the digital frame that Eric and Sarah got us. It is so cool. I uploaded pictures to it today and it plays a slide show. I got all teary looking at pictures of the day that Gavin was born. Where does the time go? He was so little! It seems like just yesterday......okay, I am sounding really old. Time to sign off.

Thanks dad!

After reading my blog, my dad sent me a link to an article on hgtv with the following message attached:

Heidi/monk, If you go to the above site you will find alternative uses for hair conditioner. My suggestion is for you to even the shampoo and conditioner by pouring the x-tra cond. into a separate bottle. This way your sense of equality/balance as well as guilt over waste can be assuaged.

I had to laugh at that. My mom told me that when I was little, around the age of 2, she could not figure out where the lids to her tupperware were disappearing to. I loved opening all the kitchen cabinets and taking out all of the contents and then "reorganizing" it all. One day my grandma was visiting and said, "Karen, I think I know where all the lids to your containers have gone." Apparently I would sit on the floor and throw all the lids in the garbage. It seems that my OCD started at a very young age.

One, two, buckle my shoe...

You all know that I am a little on the OCD side....okay, maybe a lot on the OCD side. I tend to be super organized and I despise clutter. Of course my need to keep things in "order" is just a manifestation of anxiety, but, I know this and knowing is half the battle, right? This intro serves the purpose of segueing into my dilemma of the day. When my parents were visiting, my dad realized that he forgot his shampoo at home. During a shopping trip to Sam's, we found a good price on a "set" of shampoo and conditioner. My parents said they would buy it, my dad would use the shampoo during his stay, and then they leave it for me to use. Although this is a very nice gesture, I had issues with how it would pan out. When I purchase shampoo and conditioner, I begin using both bottles at the same time. There is no other way to do it. So, do you see the problem with starting out with a shampoo bottle that is not as full as the corresponding bottle of conditioner? If I end up using the shampoo before the conditioner is gone, I just throw the rest of the conditioner away and start with two new, full bottles. So...I've thought about my options. I could try to figure out how much shampoo is gone out of the bottle and try to squirt out that much of the conditioner. Or, I could give the bottle of shampoo to someone else and try to find another bottle in the store that is the same size.
I have the same issue with body wash and body lotion. At Christmas I received a bottle of body wash, but no corresponding lotion. Don't people know what stress this causes me? I have to try to find an unscented lotion close to the size of the body wash bottle to make this work. Am I completely insane, or does anyone else relate to me even a little bit?

Sick.

This is John's last week of his pediatric rotation. I am SO GLAD! We have all been sick for weeks! Kids are big sickies. John says they cry, scream, and fight like hell when they are examined, so I am sure the germs fly through the air like crazy. They also are not always too good at covering their mouths when they sneeze and cough, and do not wash their hands very often. I will be relieved when he shifts to his psych rotation next week.

Gavin's other top front tooth is coming in. He now has four visible teeth. He is having a blast trying to pull himself up to standing on anything he can get his hands on. Our little baby is growing too fast! He is not too interested in baby food anymore. He wants what mommy and daddy have. So, we are incorporating "mashed" foods into his diet and he seems thrilled.

When my mom and dad were here, they made such yummy meals. I've been savoring my homemade chicken salad and olive nut spread, but it looks like I'm on my own again with regard to food preparation. Not sure why, but anytime I don't feel good I want tombstone pizzas. Comfort food, I suppose? When I was little my dad worked night shifts for awhile. One of my favorite memories is him coming home early in the morning, like around 6AM after working all night and would sometimes make a tombstone pizza. I would wake up early and sit at the table with him and we would eat pizza together.

Random Thoughts

I am so flighty today. I guess the mania has set back in following a week of that dreaded flu illness.

First I would like to send a SHOUT OUT to my cousin Becky- not Becky Cousin, although i think Becky Cousin is cool too. And Jill. Becky and Jill were so much fun at Court's bachelorette party. I sometimes wish I lived closer to these girls so that when I DID go out to party, it would be a guaranteed good time. But my "cousin" Becky is hilarious- one of those people who makes you laugh simply by her facial expressions and humor in any given situation. We have become closer in the past few years and I am blessed to have her as one of my gal-friends. As I get older I realize that it is harder to meet new girlfriends. In high school and college it was easy. I guess that since I'm not currently in the working world, my new contacts are somewhat limited. Anyway, Becky, you rock....even though you are now a myspace nerd and play wii more than your kids do. HA HA HA

I love Western french dressing. It has to be the Western kind- no other substitutes will work. I could drink this stuff right out of the bottle (I pretty much do). My father-in-law introduced me to this "heaven in a bottle" and I have been hooked since. Now, don't get me wrong....I'm still a Hidden Valley Ranch girl from time to time, but the Western definitely has my vote. It has the perfect blend of flavors.

Chocolate poptarts. I can't get enough of 'em lately. I am SO not pregnant, but for some reason I crave pop tarts (chocolate only) all times of the day. I have been planning my meals around the need for chocolate pop tarts. I went through a phase awhile back where I ate pop tarts every morning for weeks. And, I wonder why I have a hard time keeping the weight off my butt?????

Okay, and seriously, how does anyone expect me to watch the Cardinals play without Edmonds in the outfield? And the drama at the plate? It just isn't going to be the same.

And, THANKS A LOT Ms. Melon, AKA "Zoe"......I had nightmares thanks to the conversation we had about that web site the other day. I should not read about those kinds of sad stories. I do miss you though Melon. I think that I never want to have another job where you are not my co-worker. You made work so much fun.

Okay, that is all the racing thoughts I have for now. Happy Friday.

Happy 2008!

I rang in the New Year with a trip to the emergency room. Hello 2008! On New Year's Day I began to feel nauseated and very ill, with lots of lower stomach cramps. Nothing seemed to alleviate the pain, so the ER seemed like my only option. Thank GOD my parents were here to watch the little guy so that John could go with me. Thanks to his good connections we did not wait long and the morphine was flowing through the IVHap before I knew it. After a pelvic exam and CT scan, I was relieved to find out that my appendix would be staying put and instead my aches were due to an ovarian cyst. After a long night we were sent home with pain medication and anti-nausea meds. I spent a few days in bed, then saw the gyno on Monday for follow-up. The plan is to do another ultrasound in a few weeks to monitor my new little uterine friend. On top of everything I had the flu with a pounding headache that would not go away for days. No wonder the first week of the new year is a blur!!! I think I am back among the land of the living again, so time to resume school work and mommy fun.

Merry Christmas!

It is hard to believe that Christmas is over. The holiday passed by so fast! It was nice having so much of our family here to celebrate together, especially since it was Gavin's first Christmas. He was totally spoiled, of course, with gifts. He loves his new toys and looks super cute in his new big boy outfits. John's family rented a really nice house in the Disney area. It had a heated pool and a lot of space. It was fun having Gav in the pool again and he went under water for the first time! My parents are here for a little bit longer. I realize even more how much I miss them once we are all together. Hope everyone had a nice, relaxing Christmas.

The Scooter

We have a mover on our hands. Gavin put it all together and is now officially "scooting" around like crazy. Not quite crawling, I don't think his legs are up enough, but he is fast! Can't believe that Christmas is only a couple days away. It really doesn't feel like Christmas to me. Usually it is cold and I have made Christmas cookies with my mom and grandma. Just doesn't feel the same making Christmas cookies on a hot, sunny day. I'm not complaining....I love the warm weather, but it just isn't the same as being in the midwest for the holidays. I wish it could snow just one day here, then get hot again.

We "skyped" my family tonight who was celebrating Christmas. Our web camera has sure come in handy, especially now that there is a baby in the picture (literally).

Shop til you Drop

Gavin and I headed out this afternoon for some last minute Christmas shopping. The "town center" where we go is new and filled with lots of stores. We walked,which is about 1.2 miles each way, and enjoyed the warm sunshine and fresh air. As we approached the stores, I noticed immediately that the Christmas "frenzy" was beginning. People are beginning to have that frantic look on their face. We went into TJ Max and a nice lady commented on how cute Gavin is. She said that he was a good shopper and would definitely be a lady's man as he grows older. We ended up in the same checkout line together and she went on to say that he looked like a little genius. Hey, I'll take any flattery I can get...I was so impressed that she did not ask where my sons shoes were. She said that she raised 4 boys of her own, so I asked her: Did you put shoes on your boys when they were little? She exploded in laughter and said, "NO WAY, WHAT WOULD THE POINT OF THAT BE?" I wanted to hug this woman. She went on to say that her sister always had her children in fancy shoes from the day they were born and that she would constantly tell her to put shoes on her own kids. We talked for like ten minutes after we checked out. I was so proud of me! (John would be proud too.) Usually I go into a store with a mission and leave with only a quick "hello", smile, and "thank you" to the person checking me out. Hate all that small talk and chatter. But, today....I talked to strangers!!!! I walked Gavin home in the stroller with a smirk on my face the whole way thinking of my dad's quote: "Shoes? Shoes? We don't need no stinkin' shoes!!!!!!!!!"

Mama Say Knock you OUT

I was cooking dinner last night and noticed that Gavin was no longer in my sight. He had rolled his way under a chair. When I discovered him, he squealed with delight and giggled as I asked him how he got himself under there.

What a crazy couple of days. Over the weekend John had to go to Miami to take an exam. The drive down turned into a long adventure as it was raining and an accident on the highway brought him to a complete stop for several hours. During his exam, someone broke out the window of his car and stole EVERYthing he had in it. His laptop, GPS, money, medicine, hard drive, etc... were taken. Of course the police officer who arrived to take the report was unconcerned and calloused about John's loss. The next day we decided to go to dinner to get our mind off things. On the way home we were almost hit by a reckless driver. I was like, WHAT is going on??? Then the topper: John was playing with Gavin on the floor. I attempted to step over them at the same time that John popped his head up. We collided and John got a concussion. I'm not even kidding. He said that he hoped one of the doctors asked about his weekend. He could say that he was robbed, had his valuables stolen, then was kicked in the head and knocked out by his wife. WOO HOO.

Where are your shoes?

Okay, seriously, what is UP with people? More than once I have been shopping with Gavin when some lady will approach and ask, "Where are your shoes little boy?" The first time it happened I was caught off guard and flashed one of my best fake smiles. Then it happened again. It does not take much to annoy me, but this one really bugs me. First of all, my child is 7 months old. He cannot crawl or walk and sits in a stroller for the duration of our outings. Second of all, we are in Florida and it is 80 degrees or hotter everyday. And, finally, why are these people asking my son this question? He can't talk. I have socks on the kid- is that not enough????

So, I need your help on this one. Can you help me come up with a response so that I am ready next time this happens? Kerri, I know you can think of something! Next time someone approaches and asks in that annoying voice, "where are your shoes?", I will be ready for a come back. This is what I have thought of so far:

Act defensive and say...."It is against our religion."
Say in a bad Chinese accent....."No speaka da English."
Gasp and say....."oh my gosh, someone stole your shoes Gavin. Damn Floridians!!"

Hot Blooded Lady

I think my internal thermostat is broken. I am always hot and sweaty. (Sounds attractive, doesn't it?) But, really, I rarely get "cold". In the middle of winter when everyone else is wearing sweaters and coats, I am usually wearing a short-sleeved shirt. I have to force myself to dress for winter when I am living in a cold place. Awhile back at work my boss, Bart, sat down in my cubicle to fix a computer problem. He asked if I was sick because the chair was putting off a temperature averaging 200 degrees. HA! I was like, no....this is my normal body temperature. At one point my doctor ran some tests to see if maybe I had thyroid problems, or something related, but all tests came back normal. For awhile I attributed my hotness to anxiety, but it is always there.....even when I wake up in the middle of the night from sleeping. Gavin has been waking up in the early morning, around 5:30AM, to eat. Luckily he goes back to bed for an hour or so and I try to catch a little more shut eye as well. When I return to bed there is still some major HEAT coming off my pillow. My goal is to invent and patent a pillow that has air conditioning in it. This would likely solve my occasional insomnia that occurs from being too hot to sleep. For awhile I thought this problem was worse because of pregnancy hormones, but....7 months later I don't think this is the case. I DO, however, think that the extra weight I am carrying is related to this problemo......another motivating factor in my quest to continue losing weight. But, in reality, I don't think it will make that much of a difference. Must be genetic....my mom is the same way.

Shopping Saga II

Crazy morning here. Apparently some little teenage punks were in need of some holiday cash or maybe their next fix, but they decided to break into several of the cars in the parking lot of where we live. Our neighbor, a nice guy who is probably in his late 20's, was held up at gunpoint by the little weasels and was forced to give them his wallet and cell phone. I was up feeding Gavin this morning when he stopped by and asked to use our phone. I felt so sorry for him- he was trembling and appeared to be somewhat in shock. Not a great way to start off a work day. Good news is that the police apprehended one of the guys, so there may be some justice to the situation.

Once the chaos subsided, I headed out to Target with Gavin to pick up some formula and groceries. Cheese was on sale....so I stocked up on shredded cheese for homemade pizzas and also picked up a variety of sliced cheeses for sandwiches. (John is on a grilled cheese kick these days). While I was checking out, the cashier began commenting on all the items I was placing on the counter. "Wow, someone sure is addicted to cheese. Don't you know that stuff clogs your arteries?" I just laughed and said, "yes, but it is high in calcium and probably better than eating fast food". He came back with, "well, not really. You know, I used to eat cheese everyday until my doctor said that I had to start to eating fruits and vegetables. Damn this diet. I want my cheese." I didn't know what to say to that, so I turned to Gavin and asked if he was all ready to go bye-bye. The cashier proceeded to ask Gavin if he liked cheese. Okay, dude, give it a rest. So I have 6 packages of cheese. It is on sale and we are on a budget here......As I was getting my keys out and putting my receipt away, the guy turned to the next lady in line and asked, "wow, do you have a thing for Elmo?" The look on the lady's face was of irritation and surprise, as she had several toys on the belt that were probably Christmas presents.

One rotation done!

Yay! Today is a landmark in John's journey through medical school. He completed his first clinical rotation! Twelve weeks of training in internal medicine. It is hard to believe that just 12 weeks ago we were staying in a motel with a dog and a baby trying to find a place to call home. That was a little bit stressful. Anyway, John has the weekend off, then begins his pediatric rotation on Monday. I can't wait to see all the things he will diagnose Gavin with in the next several weeks..... :) Oh, and I am proud to say that the doctor who John worked under praised his work and said that his dictations would be used as examples for the next group of students to follow. Pretty cool! The cool thing is that he is out of the classroom and now everything seems to be coming together and making more sense than it did in theory alone.

Happy weekend.

Grandma is here!

The days are flying by! My grandma (Gavin's great-grandma) arrived on Monday and we have been having lots of fun. My grandma is something.....you would never know she is 78 years old. She jumped on a plane by herself and loves to go go go! We've been shopping almost everyday and trying out new restaurants. We bought new jammies and undies from Victoria's Secret and trendy new sunglasses. We are SO glamorous. Yesterday we ventured out to Super Target where grandma bought all the groceries!! Then, today, we went to Walmart and she stocked us up on goodies and baby stuff AND she paid for our prescriptions. We are definitely being spoiled!!!! I think Gavin is going to be sad when his great grandma leaves....he has really taken to her. Last night she fed him his bottle before bed and he just stared at her and smiled before he dozed off to sleep.

Tonight we had dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse. I had a delicious filet and baked potato. We had wine and enjoyed a nice evening out. Not sure what we are going to do for the rest of the weekend. Tomorrow morning grandma is going to show me how to cook apples the way she makes them. A yummy topping for my morning oatmeal.

A sick baby......

We are experiencing our first sick infant! He has a pretty bad head cold with lots of congestion. Poor little guy....he seems to be fine except for a little bit of irritability, but I feel so badly for him! His little nose is chapped and he has learned right away that he does not like me wiping his nose with a tissue. We're trying the new trick of putting Baby Vick's Vapor rub on his feet, then bundling him up in warm socks and his sleep blanket at night.

Not much else to report. It is Sunday.....my least favorite day of the week. I sometimes think I going to do my dissertation on all the factors that make Sundays such a depressing day for some people. Don't like em. I think it got worse when I was away at college and was not with my family for church and a nice dinner.

I am so excited! Tomorrow my grandma is coming and staying for a week with us. She got a great deal on airfare and decided to get away from the cold weather and head south. I'm really looking forward to spending time with her!

Dawnie?????

Sunshine....I was so happy to see that you posted on my blog. I keep sending you emails and all have been returned. Has your email changed? Please email me! And I also need to see a picture of Kyla and Shug, Jr.

My week's vacation from the online world of learning has come to an end. Monday I take on the challenge of two more courses......Ethics and Social Standards of Professional Practice and Behavioral Nutrition. The textbooks look really good. That always makes a difference to me.

Been having nightmares lately. Haven't had been dreams since I was pregnant. These dreams are scary and weird. One dream I was in some eerie parking garage and some older man in a suit thought I overheard him discussing some crime he committed. The rest of the dream involved me trying to escape this crazed lunatic who was trying to kill me. In another dream my boss (Chris- who I adore) was mad at me and would not listen to anything I said. Another dream my friend Eileen was telling me that I was not a good mom. Like, am I having some self esteem issues here? Paranoia? I finally get my child to sleep through the night so that I can sleep and I am waking up from scary bad dreams. Weird.

Shopping Saga

It is always something these days. Now that I have Gavin all day long and no relatives around to help watch him, I have had to be a bit creative in the way I now run errands. With a baby I've learned it is all about timing. We do not dare leave the house in the morning until he has played and pooped. Right before we depart, I will fill his belly, change his diaper and then we GO. He usually gives me about an hour or two before he has had enough. Well, today, my mission was to go to Kohl's. My dad told me about these oversized tv trays on sale for 50% off. We've been wanting to get some tv trays since we will have a lot of company soon and are in need of extra "dining" spots. Of course my extremely generous parents said they wanted to buy us the trays as an early Christmas gift and would not take "no" for an answer.

So, we headed to Kohl's. I didn't want to bring the stroller because it has dog poop all over the wheels. Once we got there, I could not find any carts that had a seat in it for Gavin. Well, there was ONE stroller/cart that had TWO seats in it and a cart attached. I figured that was the only choice I had. So, I strapped him into the front seat, put the diaper bag in the second seat and began to push the stroller. Gavin grabbed on to the sides and smiled big for the older gentleman who was talking baby talk to him. As we began moving, Gavin turned around to try to find me. Usually I am right behind him, but the look on his face was hysterical as he noticed me about 8 feet behind him pushing this gigantic contraption. I started to laugh because I felt ridiculous all of a sudden pushing this long monstrosity. And the look on Gavin's face as he strained to turn all the way around was classic. Anyway, we headed toward the right and to the back of the store. Every Kohl's I've ever been in is laid out the same....except for this one. Everything was flip-flopped. We circled the entire store in our cart "limo" without locating the tv trays. An associate directed me to the front cash registers where there were "several right by the door". So, I got into line and when it was my turn I indicated that I wanted to purchase the tv trays. I grabbed the box (which weighed a ton) and returned to the counter. A nice lady behind me was occupying Gavin and offered to help me carry the box out. I told her thank you, but said that it was very heavy and asked the cashier if there was anyone who could carry the box out to my car. I asked, "can someone help me out?" The cashier (an elderly woman)responded, "you want out?" I said, no, can someone HELP ME OUT?? The little lady behind me again said that she would carry it out for me. I looked at this lady.....she was like 5'2" and weighed probably 100 pounds. I again thanked her for the offer, but said that I would rather have an employee lift it because the box is very heavy. In the midst of all this, another lady standing behind us in line asks, "do you want me to help you carry that out?" I was like AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH! Everyone was being so nice, but I was so annoyed. I did not want these two tiny women carrying a big heavy box out to my car. I would have just done it myself, but I had Gavin in this supersized stroller cart and could not do both. I just wanted the cashier to call a guy to come do it and do it quietly without all the commotion. In the meantime, Gavin has pulled his socks off and is trying to squirm out of his seat. The cashier finally gets on her walkie talkie and asks for assistance at the front. While she is trying to explain to me that someone is on the way up to help, a lady approaches me and asks if I am done with the double stroller cart because she has two little girls and there are no other carts. I felt guilty for using the double stroller cart even though it was the ONLY one available at the time so I went into detail about why I was using it even though I only had one child. She was totally uninterested in my story and just wanted the cart. So, I pulled Gavin out and left to get the car. As I was walking out, the nice lady who offered to help me was getting into her car in a HANDICAPPED spot. She saw me, got out of her car, and said that she would carry the package out for me. It was all I could take. My eyes filled up with tears, partly because I was so frustrated with all the chaos, partly because I am hormonal, and partly because I could not believe that this little handicapped older lady was going out of her way to try to help me. No one ever stops to do that anymore (except for my husband). The guy finally came out with the box, put it in the back of my car and said, "whew, that was heavy!".

Bums

We have been so lazy this weekend. Last night I watched the Mizzou game with John. He was all excited about it, so we had some drinks and planted ourselves on the couch. I felt like drinking some beer since it has been several months since I had one. Just sounded good. About halfway through my first Bud Light, my face began to burn and feel itchy. I had some weird reaction and had hives all over my face and neck. So, I took a Benadryl, felt better and had a few more. It was great and I slept like a rock. Today, however, we have been useless! I think we alternated between sleeping and eating all day, each taking turns watching the baby so the other could nap. It has been fun though, because I never just lay around doing nothing. Too much anxiety to lay around, plus it makes you feel really fat. At least that is my take on it.

So, tomorrow John heads back to the hospital. It has been wonderful having him here for the past 4 days. My goal this week is to get a Christmas tree and start decorating. We have lots of family coming for Christmas, so there is a lot to do! Gonna try to wipe out most of my shopping in the next two weeks. I'm not much into last minute shopping. Gets too crowded and everyone gets cranky. Plus, I like to wrap all the presents and "organize" them under the tree. My dad said he doesn't know what they will do without me there for the first time to "organize" the presents. I am a big nerd and love to arrange the presents around the tree by size and wrapping paper to make it look really pretty.